The Side Hustle of Horror Villians
Horror villains don’t terrorize full-time. Slashing, stalking, and haunting take effort, but even these icons of fear need a little side income. If our favorite horror antagonists took up day jobs, what would they be? Let’s take a look at some fitting side hustles for Jason Voorhees, Leatherface, Chucky, Michael Myers, and Ghostface.
Jason Voorhees - Camp Counselor
Jason Voorhees has experience with summer camps—though not exactly in a way that parents would approve of. However, if given a second chance (and maybe some anger management classes), he could be the most dedicated camp counselor ever.
Why He’s Perfect for the Job:
He’s always around Camp Crystal Lake. No one is more familiar with the terrain.
He knows how to survive in the wild—hiking, fishing, and setting up campfires (and probably bonfires, given his history).
He’s a great enforcer of camp rules (even if breaking them comes with consequences).
Downsides:
The other counselors might mysteriously disappear.
His communication skills need work (grunts and heavy breathing aren’t enough to run a team-building exercise).
Parents may not be thrilled about his record.
Would kids respect Jason as a counselor? Absolutely. Would they be too terrified to misbehave? Definitely.
Leatherface - BBQ Pitmaster
If there’s one thing Leatherface knows, it’s meat. Given his questionable butchery skills, he could take his craft into the legal food industry by opening his own BBQ joint. Imagine Leatherface’s Texas BBQ—smoked brisket, ribs, and sausages slow-cooked to perfection.
Why He’s Perfect for the Job:
Master Butcher - He’s been in the meat business for years.
Knows His Equipment - Chainsaws? Meat cleavers? He’s got it covered.
Authentic Texas Flavor - He already lives in the heart of BBQ country.
Downsides:
The secret ingredient might get him shut down by health inspectors.
His idea of portion control could use some work.
Customers might not like seeing a guy in a mask made of human skin preparing their food.
Still, if Leatherface kept things strictly cow-based, he could dominate the BBQ world. Just don’t ask him what’s in the house special.
Chucky - Social Media Influencer
Chucky is already a small package of big personality, making him a perfect candidate for social media stardom. His knack for marketing (aka manipulating people) and showmanship would help him thrive as an internet celebrity.
Why He’s Perfect for the Job:
He’s got major attitude—his unfiltered comments would go viral.
He’s charismatic—despite being a serial killer, people love him.
His catchphrases are iconic—merchandising would be easy (“Hi, I’m Chucky. Wanna collab?”).
Downsides:
Cancel culture might hit him hard (too many scandals).
Brands might hesitate to sponsor someone known for stabbing people.
He’d probably get banned for threatening followers in the comments.
Still, Chucky as a YouTuber or TikTok star is completely believable. He’d thrive in prank videos, reaction content, and possibly an unboxing channel.
Michael Myers - Nightclub Bouncer
Michael Myers is silent, massive, and unmovable—making him the ultimate nightclub bouncer. No one is getting past him without permission.
Why He’s Perfect for the Job:
He never speaks, so he won’t argue with rowdy guests—just stares them into submission.
Incredible endurance—he can stand in one spot all night without getting tired.
Unmatched intimidation factor—troublemakers will turn around the moment they see him.
Downsides:
ID checks might take forever (he’s not exactly quick).
Customers might be scared to even enter.
If someone does start a fight, Michael might not show restraint.
Still, if you’re running a nightclub and need 100% security, hiring Michael Myers is a solid investment.
Ghostface - Customer Service Representative
Ghostface already spends hours on the phone, making him an obvious fit for customer service. His eerie yet engaging voice is perfect for handling complaints.
Why He’s Perfect for the Job:
Great phone skills—he’s known for long, suspenseful calls.
Persistent—he never gives up (even when told “I don’t want to talk”).
Handles pressure well—no amount of angry customers would faze him.
Downsides:
He might threaten customers instead of helping them.
“What’s your favorite scary movie?” Isn’t a great way to open a support ticket.
If the customer hangs up, he might just call again… and again… and again.
Ghostface in customer service would be hilarious—until HR realizes that every call ends in a horror movie monologue.
Final Thoughts: Horror Icons in the Workforce
Would these horror villains actually succeed in their side hustles? Maybe not, but they’d definitely be memorable employees. Whether it’s Jason enforcing camp rules, Leatherface smoking the best BBQ in Texas, Chucky building a personal brand, Michael keeping nightclubs safe, or Ghostface handling customer complaints, one thing’s for sure:
These slashers would be getting five-star reviews… or, at the very least, making sure no one leaves a bad one.